Monday, September 19, 2005

Weekend update

Had the weekend from hell -- the pager went off every night during the wee hours. I got very little sleep and am dragging today. Ugh.

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Did manage to go out with two of my friends this weekend. We went to a new mall that just opened about 45 minutes away from me. Did some "retail therapy" (i.e., bought some new clothes for fall).

And then my friends did an intervention. H and J told me that they didn't like what they saw in my eyes, that I had to get help, that I couldn't just keep withdrawing until there was little of my formerly strong, go-getter-self left.

They hit the nail on the head with that one, really. I broke down in the parking lot where we were standing and they both hugged me; told me I "had to get healthy" (i.e., mentally) and that they were just looking out for me. I said I didn't know what to do. They told me at minimum to increase my Zoloft like I'd been talking about doing; and to find someone to talk to. ASAP.

I called this morning and have an appointment with a counselor next Tuesday.

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Oh, BTW... new mall had a rather interesting store, where if I wanted, I could get my very-own "lifelike" baby doll. Some of them were displayed in cribs, or in plastic bins that were tilted in the window to look like bassinettes in a nursery. It was eerily realistic. I was making jokes with my friends that "I should just take one of these home! wouldn't G be surprised??" but it bothered me more than a little... I took a picture of one of them but will need to upload it later.

7 Comments:

Blogger Catherine said...

That's nothing. There are places where you can get a baby doll created to look like your dead baby. I'm not sure how healthy that is...I'm personally more than a little creeped out by the idea. But that's just me.

9/19/2005 12:32 PM  
Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

I have a hard enough time with real babies, let alone effigies thereof.

9/19/2005 12:43 PM  
Blogger cat said...

Those "fake" babies really freak me out.

Good for you for seeking out a therapist. It helped me find my power again and quiet the raging hater within. I hope you find a good one who will help guide you to a happier you.

It takes awhile but it's soooo worth it. I think without it these past two years would have completely crushed my soul.

9/19/2005 3:38 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

On the subject of increasing the Zoloft... after beating my head against the wall to get in to see my doc for a "general gyne" appt., to talk about steps we can take to fix my cycles, I gave up and doubled my Prozac. Now I have the unpleasant task of telling him what I've done. And I am assuming, possibly weaning myself down due to the preg. I just don't know, and I hope he's not tooooooo mad that I played doctor all on my lonesome.
But, hey, it worked. All I can say.

9/19/2005 5:34 PM  
Blogger Bronwyn said...

Those dolls sound really creepy. Even without having the unfortunate ability to conjure up the image of a dead baby from first-hand experience, would anyone possibly *not* be creeped out by these things?

And thanks for stopping by my blog and pointing me toward your site. It's always nice to have another kindred spirit to commiserate with!

Ann

9/19/2005 7:42 PM  
Blogger Kathy McC said...

I am sorry you had a rough weekend. Good for you for seeking out a therapist. I am seeing one once a week in addition to taking 75 mg Zoloft and it helps a lot.

Hope it all helps... (((hugs)))

9/19/2005 8:38 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

My step mother was given one of those dolls as a gift. They are truly freaky things. They look like dead babies because they are so real yet they don't move or breathe.

A man in a city north of here was tracked down by the police after a member of the public saw him put one of these dolls that my step mother has in the boot of his car.

They just aren't right!

I'm also very please you have decided to go get some extra help:) Sometimes it's our friends who see the changes best and most clearly because they are a step back from things. i hope some of the 'old' you shines through soon ((hugs))

9/20/2005 12:07 AM  

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