Finding my joy...
I went to the loss support group again last night. Once again, it was a small group, even smaller than last time (actually, it was just the founder, the facilitator and me -- it was more like a counseling session than a support group. Whatever.) It helped to talk about this in some place other than my head, or with G.
One of the things that the facilitator told me is that I need to take steps to do normal things. It's what G's been telling me, but without it feeling like "nagging". I hate that I can recognize good advice when it comes from a different source than my husband, but unfortunately that's what is happening.
So, anyway, I have to try to come up with some things to do, and then actually do them. This is harder than I would have expected. I told the facilitator last night that I can't seem to remember what I liked to do "before"... and I know that has to sound crazy, but it's true. It's as if my mind has gone completely blank when it comes to thinking about what my life involves besides trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, trying to stay pregnant or agonizing about not being pregnant. Sad, huh??
But ok, I have to come up with something. So, I'm thinking:
1) Take a walk after work.
2) Go to a craft store and get a project of some sort I want to do that doesn't involve babies (i.e., no scrapbooking right now)
3) Investigate the fall "personal development" classes at our local community college.
That's all I can come up with right now. But it's a start, I guess.
One of the things that the facilitator told me is that I need to take steps to do normal things. It's what G's been telling me, but without it feeling like "nagging". I hate that I can recognize good advice when it comes from a different source than my husband, but unfortunately that's what is happening.
So, anyway, I have to try to come up with some things to do, and then actually do them. This is harder than I would have expected. I told the facilitator last night that I can't seem to remember what I liked to do "before"... and I know that has to sound crazy, but it's true. It's as if my mind has gone completely blank when it comes to thinking about what my life involves besides trying to get pregnant, being pregnant, trying to stay pregnant or agonizing about not being pregnant. Sad, huh??
But ok, I have to come up with something. So, I'm thinking:
1) Take a walk after work.
2) Go to a craft store and get a project of some sort I want to do that doesn't involve babies (i.e., no scrapbooking right now)
3) Investigate the fall "personal development" classes at our local community college.
That's all I can come up with right now. But it's a start, I guess.
posted by Lisa P. at 10:19 AM
3 Comments:
Do you own a camera? digital or otherwise? Take your camera on your walk and take pictures (of anything BUT babies). It's fun.
It's understandable considering your trauma that you find it hard to see back before this started. It's also great that you are reaching out and looking for something to dampen the stress. I found that volunteer work helped a lot, helping others helped me feel like I was not all that crazy or bad or wrong.
Wishing you some big peaceful spaces and perhaps a new hobby or pastime to enjoy them in.
It's a big step to try to reach forward into 'normal' again.
Photography sounds wonderful. I have put in some links on my blog to some felting sites. Maybe see if that is up your alley?
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