Really didn't mean to keep you in suspense!

I just got really tired after treatment yesterday (plus was annoyed b/c I got sick *three times* due to anxiety - UGH!)...

But there's news...

And it's good...

According to my doctor, the scans show that "it's gone"... I have some trouble believing it although I am still happy... I guess it's the doubter in me that says "wait a minute, how can that be?"

Technically, there are still some visible lymph nodes although they have all decreased in size considerably. Many are listed in the report as having "FDG uptake reduced to that of the background," and since FDG is the radioactve stuff they give me that "lights up" wherever there are cancer cells, I am assuming that means there's no more of it present than you'd see on a person without cancer cells in that area.

I think the gist of it is that I wish my doctor had been more descriptive, had possibly showed me the actual images of my scan, or something similar. As it was, it just seemed almost... surreal.

Not that I won't be celebrating once my stomach is back to normal, of course!

What's next -- three more chemos instead of five (thank goodness!) a scan in three months, and then scans every three months for a year. Beyond that, I don't know, but am not worrying that far ahead.

Thanks for all the positive and supportive thoughts throughout this experience. :)

Still here...

Although as I told Catherine recently, I feel less like a blogger these days and more like someone who posts boring updates. *sigh* Maybe that will change eventually, or maybe it won't.

Tonight though, I will post another update.

Let's see... work is going ok, although I am much more tired than I thought I'd be. Sore, too; probably due to the fibromyalgia more so than anything lymphoma related. I am still not "settled in" to the new job, as most of the people in the department I'll be supporting are away on vacation (gotta love summer!) but I'm optimistic at this point that it'll be a good fit.

It's been a good distraction, too, from the fact that I should get results of my midpoint PET scans tomorrow. To say that I'm a bit nervous tonight would be a huge understatement; the results of this scan will let me know if the chemo is working, so I'm pretty focused on trying not to get my hopes up while at the same time praying that it'll be good news. G seems to think that everything will be ok but I have had that feeling one too many times in the past two years, only to be surprised by the rug being pulled out from underneath me. So needless to say, I am trying not to think about negative stuff but trying not to be too positive. How's that for confusing?

I will post tomorrow as soon as I know anything.

In short...

We had a good weekend.

We had a long talk about the TTC situation, which was a very good talk, even though there is no possibility of progress right now.

I'm feeling much older than my 37 years right now.

I'm not really cranky anymore, but not all that talkative either.

Treatment is on Thursday this week due to the holiday. Hooray for an extra day!

I start back to work Monday.

That's all for now.