Thursday, April 12, 2007

Wasting no time

My appointment with the oncologist was yesterday.

According to my ENT it was, anyway. According to the oncologist's secretary, they had no record of me whatsoever. *sigh*

Luckily (even though I cried and G raised his voice a little and they told us not to make a scene even though they were telling me I'd have to come back in a week) the doctor made time to see me.

The doctor seems nice, and has already told me the shell of the plan, details to arrive very soon. They scheduled me for four tests -- a MUGA scan to check to make sure my heart can handle the chemo on Friday, a PET scan on Monday evening, and bone marrow biopsy and pulmonary function tests on Tuesday. Treatments will start shortly therafter -- all chemo, no radiation unless there's something big on the PET scan. Chemo will be every other week for about six months.

When I asked about fertility, he said that there's usually no problems with it. But when I told him we were already seeing an RE (to which he answered "I know") he said that it would have to go on hold, and seemed to offer no discussion. That's a big, scary decision to have to have made for me... even though it was looking like IVF was my only shot at having a biological child anyway, it doesn't help to be thinking that I need to do something life-saving that may take that option away from me for good. I don't know what to think. The few things I've looked up on my particular chemo regimen (ABVD, which is the first letter of each of the four drugs I'll be given) says that fertility is usually preserved. But does the fact that mine was declining somewhat to begin with have any bearing? Should I even be worrying about this now?

I'm sure there's a lot more I'm going to be worrying about in the near future, so maybe I should be trying to worry less overall. (Ha, good luck.)


Blogger msfitzita said...

I'm SO glad the doctor was able to see you. Good GOD I'd have cried too. I'm glad you have a plan of attack and that they're starting right away.

I'm beyond sorry that you're dealing with so much all at once - I'm just so very, very sorry.

Have you given any thought to freezing embryos? I don't know what's involved (me am stupid) but maybe that's an option?

I'm thinking of you, so, so, much...

4/12/2007 7:29 PM  
Blogger wishy the writer said...

Should you even be worrying about fertility when you're planning cancer treatment? Well, "should" is a word that just doesn't matter during a time like this. Your feelings are your feelings. Embrace them all so you can turn bravely to your treatment and *heal*! Heal. And I hope you know there are so many of us out here in the ether of the blog world who think of you throughout every day and hope and pray for your healing.



4/12/2007 9:47 PM  
Blogger SaraS-P said...

You have been struggling with IF for so longer, of course you still worry about when faced with cancer treatment. I don't know much here, but I did read an article about a woman who got pregnant (unplanned) during chemo and she had a healthy baby. Just one case, but it offers some hope. Maybe.

I hope your treatment goes well for your overall health, including your fertility.

4/13/2007 11:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is probably neither here nor there, since I never actually suffered from infertility, but had my tubes tied during my first marriage. When I married my second husband, the BEST man in the world BTW, it was his second marriage also, although he hadn't had any children in his first marriage. Since we finally had both found the person we wanted to be with (and have children with) we explored the option of having my tubes reattached, and all the good stuff that goes with that.

Unfortunately, the good doctor who had done the tubal was too good and there was nothing left to attach, so the surgery couldn't be done. IVF was an option we were exploring when I found out that I had an autoimmune disease (lupus) and rheumatoid arthritis. I was devastated, to say the least. However, in the 18 years since my diagnosis I've come to realize that although I would have loved to have more children, there's no way that I could have handled my illness and small children. Or maybe I could have at the time because I would have "had" to, but would it have been "good" for me or the children is another matter. First and foremost you should concentrate on getting yourself better. Kids deserve healthy parents if at all possible. Sometimes when you stand back and look at the big picture you see why sometimes we don't get what we want. I hope I don't offend you with what I said, that's not my intent, just that sometimes our Higher Power knows our needs better than we do.

That being said, I praying things go well for you. That the cancer is taken care of AND you find the peace with the decisions you make, with or without children. God bless you.

4/13/2007 3:29 PM  
Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Lisa, I'm so glad you managed to see the doctor despite that distressing screw-up, which was just exactly what you didn't need... and I'm glad the doctor has a good plan for you. I hope that all the tests turn out well, so you can move forward.

As for your fertility, I think they tend to err on the side of caution, so when they say fertility is usually preserved, I would say you can leave that consideration aside for now. And you do not know why your fertility was declining in the past year -- maybe it was because your body was busy fighting the cancer, and shut down the non-vital systems? In other words, it might be that your fertility will more than bounce back after chemotherapy.

I wish I could give you certainty instead of this conjecture, but at least I wanted to present an alternative viewpoint to consider...

Thinking of you often, my dear.

4/14/2007 4:50 AM  
Blogger thirdtimelucky said...

Just to let you know I'm thinking of you.

4/14/2007 6:41 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

Everyone else sounds much more sensible than me. It occurred to me if it's worth doing a stim cycle to get some eggs collected and frozen, or a lap to get a slice of ovarian tissue preserved, rather than take any risks with your fertility. Would it be ok to delay chemo for a few days to do the ovarian thing at least?

Please ignore me if this is nonsense. If going ahead is the right thing, then that's what you should do, and I'm sure what Kath has said is right.

Hoping for you.

4/14/2007 2:00 PM  
Blogger Jason and Samantha said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. (hugs)

4/14/2007 6:02 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

I was listening to Jonatha Brooke today and thought of you. Sending you hopeful thoughts...

4/18/2007 5:15 PM  

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