Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Randomness and waiting

Some of you asked how the shower went, and it went ok. I survived, even though I didn't stay for the whole thing. And I love that the mom-to-be had "adult only" punch, too. (Had it there for others, not her. She wasn't drinking. I realized that looked very odd. It's still not coming out right, but I'm feeling a bit under the weather and am not sure I'm making sense. Umm, yeah.) And I bought a whole ocean-themed gift and only felt overwhelmed in B.abiesR.Us once.
I have been having periods off and on where I am extremely fatigued. I thought it could be my fibromyalgia flaring up, or due to stress, or depression, or medication. So I stopped taking the antihistamines at night to see what happened. End result, I felt more awake during the day but felt horrible (and kept waking up itchy) at night. So I'm back on the antihistamines and am feeling today like a truck plowed into me.
I remember when I used to think the two-week wait was long. The three-week wait till the biopsy is 2/3s done and I still feel like I'm climbing the walls. Not to minimize the two week wait for anyone who's going through it, because I do know how agonizing it is.
G's second SA came back as lousy as the first one. Terrible motility pre-wash, ok post... but absolutely horrible morphology. How the heck did we get pregnant twice? I know they weren't successful pregnancies, but I'd think that should be attributed to me because isn't it next to impossible for abnormal, swim-in-a-circle sperm to find an egg, anyway?? So depending on what happens with me we may be headed for ICSI. Or adoption. Or something. I can't even think much past the biopsy anymore as it makes me feel kind of sick.
Oh, last random note: I am leaving my temp job at the end of March and taking a regular full-time position that's five minutes away from my house. I had to weigh the pros and cons on this one pretty heavily and despite the uncertainty of my future, I felt that the commute would outweigh anything else right now. Even the fact that it's a reception desk position and so there's not a lot of flexibility for things like, oh, say, early am fertility clinic appointments. I have a feeling I still made the right choice though.


Blogger Catherine said...

I've been worrying about you. I'm so glad you posted. I'm sorry you're still waiting for results...I hope you get some answers soon. {{{hugs}}}

3/20/2007 12:47 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Oh ((Lisa)), I've been reading your blog and I wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you. I hope it helps a little, at least, to know how many of us are watching from the sidelines and cheering you on.

3/20/2007 1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just want you to know that we're pulling for you tomorrow with the biopsy. ever since you wrote on our blog, i've been waiting on your results. hope we took some of the bad luck of the world so that your biopsy can be negative.

much warmth,
from Luchalee

3/26/2007 4:36 PM  
Blogger Jason and Samantha said...

*hugs* Congrats on teh new job. I hope everything works out.. *prayers* going your way!!

3/27/2007 11:50 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

Thinking of you today, Lisa. Hope everything goes smoothly...

3/28/2007 1:31 PM  

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