Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Vegas wouldn't take these odds.

It's Hodgkin's lymphoma.

According to the National Cancer Institute, Hodgkin's disease occurs most often in people between 15 and 34 and in people over the age of 55. It is more common in men than in women. And yet this 36.5 year old female has it.

I found out in the frozen food aisle at our local supermarket. When I answered my cell phone and heard the male voice of Dr. F, I knew.

Actually, I knew all this time. It was as if my body was trying to tell me something. I can remember looking at myself months ago, before the itching really got so bad, and thinking "there's something wrong with my body." At the time, I thought it was just fertility related, but as things started to make themselves clearer, and this diagnosis became a possibility, my mind just adjusted to it and said "that's it, then."

Did I mention that I start my new job tomorrow?

I am not sure whether I will continue this blog, or start a new one. There's a lot of personal history in this blog that I've kept anonymous, which is now a lot easier to tie to me and G with this diagnosis. Although there's a lot to talk about regarding infertility and cancer and what I'll do about it, so maybe a new blog is the thing. At this point, I'm not ready to make that decision.

I thank you all for your thoughts and prayers thus far, and hope you'll keep 'em coming. I think I'm gonna need them.


Blogger Shinny said...

I am sorry to hear your news. A friend of mine had that years ago and was able to treat it with chemo and radiation. If they found it soon enough there is hope.
Wishing you the best of luck. Really nothing I can say can help, but know I am thinking of you.

ps, I don't think I have commented before but I read you frequently. ;)

4/03/2007 3:41 PM  
Blogger K. said...

I'm so sorry to hear about that. It sucks, having to deal with more than your share. You're in my thoughts.

4/03/2007 4:30 PM  
Blogger wishy in az said...

Oh, "more than your share" indeed. I'm so very, very sorry. If you can find a way to maintain this blog, know that your words are meaningful and helpful to people in ways you'll never know. My thoughts are sincerely with you.

4/03/2007 4:59 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Oh My God! No! Lisa...my dear friend...if there is ANYTHING I can do for you, please let me know. I'm going to email you (provided I can find your email address again...if you don't hear from me in a couple days, email me so I have it, ok?)...and I'm going to give you my phone number. Anything. I mean it.

And if you go to a new blog, please let me know where to find you. I care about you and would hate it if you disappeared from the blogosphere.


4/03/2007 7:18 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

And I want to give you a link to a blog I've been reading...if you're interested. http://luchalee.wordpress.com/

4/03/2007 7:27 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

Oh Lisa! What horribly overwhelming news. I will be thinking of you and hoping that this disease is wiped out quickly and completely. So, so much more than your share. I am so sorry you have been punched again. ((hugs))

4/03/2007 7:46 PM  
Blogger Kathy McC said...

Oh, geez, Lisa. I am really sorry. My neice went through the same thing five years ago and she's in remission. Your situation sounds very similar, as it started in the neck for her as well. Please if you need anything or you'd like to talk to her about her experience, I am sure she'd be happy to talk to you. Big (((hugs)))

4/03/2007 8:30 PM  
Blogger Bronwyn said...

I am so, so sorry... I don't know what to say. There are many times when news in this blogsphere hits us to the core, and this is right up there. I'm sending you many positive thoughts and a (((Big Hug))). It all must be so overwhelming for you.

I just wish there were more that I could do. Thinking of you... please keep us updated, one way or another (at the very least via Catherine).

4/03/2007 9:38 PM  
Blogger SaraS-P said...

I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say, but I am thinking about you.

4/03/2007 9:47 PM  
Anonymous daniel said...

lisa -
you knew it.
you knew it when you emailed me
and we started writing a bit.
we knew it too.

you are not alone.

say it out loud.

i will say it now.

you are not alone.

not alone in a diagnosis,
not alone in surprise,
not alone in shock
or suffering or prognosis
or tests or needles or terminology or pathology

or survival.

or survival.

i know you've been reading our blog. you will be next to beat the crap out of this.

you will be next to turn it away.

you will be next

and we welcome you into the story.

daniel and leanne,

survivors, just like you.

4/03/2007 10:28 PM  
Blogger thirdtimelucky said...

Oh I'm sorry. I've been reading you for a while and I did wonder when I read about the lumps in your neck as this is how my mum's Hodgkins was picked up.

I'm sending good thoughts your way and if you want me to read/explain anything for you send me an email (thirdtimeluckyemail[at]gmail.com) as I work in cancer research.


4/04/2007 3:39 AM  
Blogger MB said...

Oh Lisa, I'm just so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

4/04/2007 7:49 AM  
Blogger niobe said...

What awful news. Thoughts and prayers? You certainly have mine.

4/04/2007 7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've lurked on your blog for a while and appreciate all you've written. I'm shocked and saddened to hear this news - wishing you strength.

Carrie P

4/04/2007 8:44 AM  
Blogger Thalia said...

I'm really sorry to hear this, Lisa. What a shock. I'll be here through whatever the next few months will bring you.

4/04/2007 10:15 AM  
Blogger Kate said...

I've been thinking about you all day. I am so sorry that you have to go through any of this. Infertility, miscarriages are bad enough. Please keep writing and letting us know how you are doing. I'll be thinking about you and praying that everything works out fine for you.

4/04/2007 2:34 PM  
Blogger Patti said...

Another lurker following your journey...I am so sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts.


4/04/2007 3:46 PM  
Blogger Chan said...

I'm having a hard time getting my head around this, so I can imagine how it must be for you.
We know you can kick this in the ass.
You are such an amazing woman.
Keeping you in our thoughts....

4/04/2007 4:06 PM  
Blogger cat said...

You are in my prayers Lisa. Now and always.

4/04/2007 7:06 PM  
Blogger msfitzita said...

Oh my God, Lisa...

I'm so sorry. I'm just stunned. I will absolutely keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Absolutely.

I hope you keep writing, because I'll always be here to listen.

Thinking of you...


4/04/2007 7:45 PM  
Anonymous Kim said...

I am so sorry to read your news. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

4/04/2007 9:10 PM  
Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Lisa, I am so sad and sorry to read your news. What cruel odds, what a cruel blow indeed. I am sending you lots of hope for your treatment and a complete cure. Whether you continue this blog or start up elsewhere, I'll be there, reading and listening and hoping.

How I wish I could hug you right now.

4/05/2007 5:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm here via Catherine's blog. I'm so sorry. I'll pray for you.

4/05/2007 7:55 AM  
Blogger Anna said...

Lisa, I'm so sorry. Like kath, I wish I could give you a hug right now.

You are not alone. We will help you, in virtual support and concrete ways.

4/05/2007 3:29 PM  
Blogger Rosepetal said...

My thoughts are with you and your family.

4/06/2007 8:20 AM  
Blogger spinarella said...

Oh, Lisa. Prayers and positive thoughts coming your way. I say keep up the blogging, and draw on all the strength this group can send you.

4/06/2007 8:55 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

If there is anything I can do don't hesitate to call. We have a second vehicle now, so I'm finally independently mobile.

You and G are in my prayers. With all the amazing oncologists and doctors around here, I'm sure you will be in wonderful medical hands.

4/09/2007 10:07 PM  
Blogger Jason and Samantha said...

((hugs)) and prayers and thoughts going your way. I'm so sorry.

4/12/2007 10:27 AM  

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