Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sorry to haiku and run...

Thanks for those of you who checked in after my last post, and sorry I just took off -- I have been feeling like every time I get my period all I do is whine about how awful I feel, and I figured no one wanted to hear that again. So I took a little break.

I've been reading infertility blogs since we had our second loss, and never thought much about the courage that it takes to go on to a next cycle, to admit that you need to try the next step, whatever that step may be, and to continue to post your feelings about it day after day, month after month, year after year in some unfortunate cases. Never really thought about what it takes to be able to talk about this stuff, to get it out of your head and onto the "page" so to speak.

Now that I'm in the midst of it, I realize that it's hard. I would give anything to be one of those people who doesn't know when their period is due, and is therefore greatly surprised when they wind up pregnant. I hate feeling optimistic when my cycle's going well and I hate feeling devastated when it takes a turn for the worse. I hate letting this stuff rule my emotions. It does, though. That's just who I am.

Some days I don't think I have the strength to talk about this, let alone go through it. But I have to -- I don't feel ready to give up just yet.

At least I think so.


Blogger Kathy McC said...

((((hugs)))) I am thinking of you.

10/23/2006 2:12 AM  
Blogger casey said...

Hey, Lisa. It's tough not to let your emotions rule you. I tend toward that myself. One of the things I regret most about having lost 3 pregnancies is that I will never again experience that innocent joy that a lot of women with no problems get to experience (during pregnancy). It does feel like something big that's been stolen from me. Anyway, you're not alone...

10/23/2006 2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I'm sorry :(


10/23/2006 7:42 PM  
Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Lisa, I'm so sorry. I think I know how you feel.

10/24/2006 12:04 PM  

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