A kinder, gentler month.
I'm taking the stance that this month is going to be about staying calm. Keeping my emotions in check. Not letting the vicious cycle get to me (no pun intended). Last month I got far too down at the end of my cycle, most likely because I'd pumped myself up far too much about my chances. The build up and then subsequent letdown of each month combined with all the stress I've been under through the past year just got to me, I think. But as one commenter suggested a few posts ago, I am "hanging in there" -- I'm not ready to give up yet.
I have an appointment for an annual coming up at the beginning of October, and got on the calendar with my OB/GYN for a November appointment to discuss our next steps, if still we're not pregnant. G and I talked while we were away this weekend, and he seems fairly calm about the whole thing. "We hadn't really been trying in earnest a few of the past six months" he said, "and so perhaps this month will work." Meaning that we only started the intensive "this will *surely* get you pregnant" s.ex two months ago, and perhaps one lucky shot in some of the past months wasn't enough.
Part of me wants to be monitored, checked, etc... have someone actually confirm that yes, my ovaries are working the way they're supposed to, an egg is actually released at mid-cycle and my lining is strong enough to support it. Is that something doctors do when you're not doing injectibles or Clomid or anything else other than trying naturally? I don't know. And yet another part of me wants to continue somewhat naively for just a while longer. I suppose that's human nature; I'm not trying to blind myself from all the possibilities, just trying to focus my whole energies (mental, mostly) on the strategy that is in effect now. Maybe that's a bad way to be, but it's the tactic I'm taking right now.
I have an appointment for an annual coming up at the beginning of October, and got on the calendar with my OB/GYN for a November appointment to discuss our next steps, if still we're not pregnant. G and I talked while we were away this weekend, and he seems fairly calm about the whole thing. "We hadn't really been trying in earnest a few of the past six months" he said, "and so perhaps this month will work." Meaning that we only started the intensive "this will *surely* get you pregnant" s.ex two months ago, and perhaps one lucky shot in some of the past months wasn't enough.
Part of me wants to be monitored, checked, etc... have someone actually confirm that yes, my ovaries are working the way they're supposed to, an egg is actually released at mid-cycle and my lining is strong enough to support it. Is that something doctors do when you're not doing injectibles or Clomid or anything else other than trying naturally? I don't know. And yet another part of me wants to continue somewhat naively for just a while longer. I suppose that's human nature; I'm not trying to blind myself from all the possibilities, just trying to focus my whole energies (mental, mostly) on the strategy that is in effect now. Maybe that's a bad way to be, but it's the tactic I'm taking right now.
posted by Lisa P. at 7:15 AM
4 Comments:
It's hard to turn back once you've started drugs. Half that is psychological, maybe knowing that you need help to do the most natural thing in the world. Looking back, I think it's something you have to be really ready for.
You can find out about your lining by having a progesterone test and ultrasound. If it's too thin or your numbers too low, that's a definite sign that you need a little extra help and should proceed as such immediately, even during 'natural' cycles. The next step is up to you and your team.
You can certainly get checked without going on any meds. My first cycle at the fertility clinic was a "natural" cycle - no intervention at all. All they did was do bloodwork and ultrasounds on CD3, CD10 and then every other day (for the most part) until they could confirm ovulation. From that I found out that my lining was fine, my hormones were fine and I was ovulating.
In addition to that, I had an HSG (which revealed that my right tube may be blocked). I recommend having one just to see what might be going on in there. That, with the cycle monitoring, will give you a good, clear picture.
But I'm so sorry it has come to this. It just shouldn't be this hard, and I'm so sorry it is.
I did give me tremendous peace of mind knowing what we were up against though, and empowerment is so important to me right now.
That and cookies.
((((HUGS))))
THere's no harm in asking for what you want, they can monitor you wih no drugs if you want to pay for the ultrasounds etc. And doing a couple of blood tests (progesterone in particular) to make sure that ovulation occurs. Equally, if everything seems ok from less invasive testing, there is little harm in just doing what you're doing for a while.
We tried for over a year, and then had all kinds of testing done, even an MRI (a lot of testing!). It was Male Factor in the end. It was so easy for him to get a semen analysis, compared to what i went through. I think a little checking up on the plumbing is all to the good.
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