Apparently *not* our month.

Perhaps not our year, at the rate we're going, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

My temp plunged this morning.  I knew that probably meant disaster but I still held out a tiny bit of hope -- the opera's not over till the fat lady sings after all, and there was still no signs of a diva warming up in the wings this morning.  I did manage to find one chart in FF's chart gallery that was a pregnancy chart, even with a temp that went way below coverline.  It wasn't *probable*, but it was possible.

That all changed this afternoon, when I began spotting.

I know that I will get the strength to do what I need to do (whether it be just try again naturally, go see the doctor or whatever) but right now, I'm weary; I don't know how people do this month after month after month.  I hate to sound like I'm complaining as I know there are people who have been at this for far longer than I have, and I appreciate that we haven't had to worry yet about financial issues, having not moved into that realm.

But to say I'm not petrified of our next steps would be a terrible understatement.

I was going to call G at work and let him know the news, but decided against it.  Why spoil the rest of his day, right??  As it stands, we will be able to go to a wine festival we were thinking about attending this weekend, so when I get home I will focus on that.

It's ironic that this month, I'm beyond crying.  I just feel... numb.