Saturday, April 08, 2006

oh-so-happy holidays

This New Year's Eve, I said that 2006 was to be our year. Positive energy pretty much poured out of me.

When we didn't get a Valentine's baby, I was fine with it. "There's always next month!" When St. Patrick's Day arrived without a positive test, I was glad for the opportunity to go raise a pint at the nearby Irish pub.

Easter's almost here, and with it the potential for a Christmas baby. (Strange how that would have worked, isn't it?)

*Would have* worked. Cycle day one.

I found out last night that a good online friend of mine (who reads here BTW - M, if you're reading this, don't feel badly, ok??) got her first big fat positive. I am happy for her, by all means, but the onset of red flow did not do much to lift my spirits. I'm coming into the season of holidays that signal nothing but bad memories -- Memorial Day positive test, Independence Day miscarriage (another ironic holiday trick there) -- and with it the thought that even if we get pregnant now, and even if the pregnancy goes smoothly, I will not have a baby until 2007.

Recently, someone on a message board I belong to was trying to make herself feel better about the fact that she may not be pregnant this month, and posted that "at least she wouldn't be in the hospital for Christmas." I couldn't resist posting a polite but honest response that basically said I'd be thankful for any baby at any time of year, but instead of taking that the way I intended (a reminder that it's ok to hope) she got upset and others jumped to defend her right to post her feelings. My feelings apparently didn't carry the same weight.

At this point, the only holidays that don't carry any stigma are Labor Day (umm, well, except for the obvious), Halloween, and Thanksgiving. I may have to start celebrating holidays from other countries.

Oh wow. A search for new holidays tells me that April is apparently National Anxiety Month.

I've got an excuse now, I guess.


Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

Yeah, here's my holiday breakdown (no pun intended). Plus, my second would have been due three days before my birthday this year.

Yesterday J had a 'Spider-Man 3' screensaver on his desktop and I asked him when the movie's coming out. He said, '2007.' 2007, and yet he's already ramping up for it. You and I can barely see past next month. But 2007 is what we need to focus on, because 2006 is already in the books for us - no baby, no Christmas baby at that, by the skin of the calendar's teeth.

4/09/2006 9:43 AM  
Blogger lauralu said...

i was going to say "Happy Anxiety Month!" but that doesn't quite right...

i'm hoping you'll soon be creating your own holidays - like your child's conception, her first ultrasound, her birthday - all the good ones.

4/09/2006 10:09 AM  

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