Thursday, February 23, 2006

maybe this year will be better than the last*

Or maybe not.

I'm sure my readership has dwindled to next to nothing, but I can't say I blame anyone. I am not good at updates these days: work has been keeping me busy. I had an interview for an internal transfer on Wednesday, which I'm waiting to hear about. And it's baby making time again.

All prime topics for an update, yet I didn't do one.

And then we got the news about the biopsy of one of G's moles.

Tiny thing, really. Didn't seem larger than the head of a pin; small and innoculous. Yet it's melanoma.

There are a few other moles that are in the process of changing, some "severely". These will be removed along with offending dot. G will see the dermatologist every six months and use heavy sunscreen. It's not life-threatening at all.

I should be relieved.

Instead, I feel like the breath was sucked out of me, like I was hit by a Mack truck. I'm emotionally drained.

So, I'm officially calling a hiatus. I need some time, real time this time, to sort through why this rocked my core so much, even though it's nowhere near as serious as my dad's chest pain/failed angioplasty/perforated artery or my mom's kidney cancer/total left nephrectomy in 1999, and they're both still around. I think I finally realized what it would feel like to know I was losing G, and it scared the crap out of me.

I know I'm overreacting, but at the same time I hope that I'm reacting ok.

And I'm really hoping this year doesn't keep going in this direction.

*Credit to Adam Duritz for lyrical inspiration.


Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

Come back when you feel like it. I'll be here.


2/23/2006 8:56 PM  
Blogger Kathy McC said...

Take all the time you need. Thinking of you...

2/23/2006 9:05 PM  
Blogger Catherine said...

I've got you on my subscriptions so whenever you update I'll be here.

2/23/2006 9:07 PM  
Blogger lauralu said...

always glad to hear from you, good news or bad. best of luck to you, lisa.

2/23/2006 9:54 PM  
Blogger cat said...

Break away chica also got you on my subs so when you date I'll be back to read.

Wishing you the best. *hug*

2/24/2006 8:52 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

I'm so sorry you have had to face what you have this week. It is a kind of terror that is incomparable.

I'll still check in from time to time. Best of luck and have a good break:)

2/25/2006 3:43 PM  
Anonymous Kath said...

Of course it rocked your core, my dear. I'm so glad they seem to have caught it early. All the best for the two of you. I'll be checking in to see how you are.

2/25/2006 6:30 PM  
Anonymous thalia said...

Do what you need to do. The one thing I would say, is won't writing how you're feeling down help you sort out why you're feeling this way? You can always make this site private or open a new one if you want to keep your thoughts private for now.

We'll miss you, we'll be here when you get back. I'm glad G will be ok. I'm so glad he got these checked when he did.

2/28/2006 11:11 AM  
Blogger Em said...

Good news about G but I understand how it could knock you. I get all sorts of horrible anxiety about losing my husband. He had a neurological scare a few years back, which may have been MS but wasn't and it was scary.

2/28/2006 3:06 PM  
Anonymous pixi said...

Lisa, we'll be here, if you if/when you decide to come back. I hope you're doing OK.

2/28/2006 5:53 PM  
Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

Wednesday, March 1. I still check. Miss you.

3/01/2006 8:08 PM  
Blogger Bronwyn said...

Hope you're feeling okay. I understand wanting to take a break. Healthy thoughts to you and G.

3/03/2006 4:13 PM  

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