Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Talismans, luck and faith

I'm cleaning off my desk in preparation for the carpet installers to arrive tomorrow - we're getting new carpet in our home's three bedrooms, one of which serves as an office.

Underneath a desk organizer, I found a four-leaf clover that my mom found in our front yard when we first bought this house. I'd wrapped it in waxed paper and saved it, with the intention of framing it at some point and hanging it on the wall. As I look at it now, I see that one leaf is smaller than the rest, and branches off of one of the others.

So I've been thinking about good luck charms and whether I should put too much faith in them.

After we announced we were pregnant to my in-laws the first time, my MIL took me aside and gave me a small envelope, which contained an angel keychain and a St. Gerard medal on a small prayer card. (It is important to note here that G and his family are Catholic, but I am Methodist.) She explained to me who the saint was, and that she had purchased this for G's cousin when she had a miscarriage, and they made it through their second pregnancy (with twins, no less) uneventfully. She wanted to pass it along for me.

Well, not being a Catholic myself, and never having really understood what the saints were all about in that religion, I thanked her for it but put it away in my nightstand.

After the first loss, and once we were trying again, I took it out of my nightstand and set it next to my alarm clock. Just to have it there, I thought, might be a better sign than the first time. One month, I even prayed the small prayer on the back of the card from the day I ovulated through AF's arrival, hoping that it might bring me success. (It did not.)

However, the month that we did end up getting pregnant the second time, the medal still sat on my nightstand, and one night before I ovulated G even handed me a penny and said "for luck". I kept that penny sitting there as well, and when we were successful again, I was thrilled.

Now, I'm wondering if a) God doesn't like it when Methodists pray to saints; b) God doesn't like it when people mix luck charms and religious icons, or c) if I am just, in general, unlucky.

I had G return the medal to his mom -- but I'm saving the four-leaf clover, just in case.


Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

I totally don't understand God. The saints are pretty cool, but Our Representatives in the Congress of the Afterlife don't seem to be getting through to the Big One in Charge. Such is the life of a Democrat, I guess...

8/02/2005 6:04 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Hi, Lisa. As a converted, yet now-non-practicing Catholic myself, we too looked to St. Gerard for help. My husband is named Gerard because of the m/c his mother had prior to him. After a m/c of our own, and a subsequent pregnancy, I thought it couldn't hurt, so I prayed, my in-laws prayed, we found out it was a boy and gave him the middle name Gerard. And yet he died at 35 weeks. i don't think it makes one bit of difference whether you are faithful (we most certainly were at the time), believe in talismans/good luck charms, or whatever, it all just seems so random. Unfair. Nondescript. Crap. I have no answers, but I did want to say hello, I'm sorry for your losses, and I hope (if there is such a thing as luck) that your luck turns around. {{hugs}}
[oh, and lorem, the congress stuff is very good! thanks for the chuckle]

8/03/2005 10:57 PM  

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